As part of my new lease on life and my job, I have been thinking a lot about what may have caused my recent spate of burn-out, and in this way, hopefully, avoid it in the future. After meeting with several of my clients at the jail this week, rather than sending them letters or calling them on the phone, I think I may have figured it out. The root of my problem seems to have been that I had grown detached from my clients, and, as a result, I no longer wanted to help them. While pondering why this came to be, I began thinking of the difference between two nearly synonymous, but very different words. Empathy and Sympathy.
According to Marion-Webster, "empathy" is "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner." "Sympathy," conversely, is "an affinity, association, or relationship between persons or things wherein whatever affects one similarly affects the other." In short, "empathy" is being understanding of and sensitive to the feelings and thoughts of another, whereas "sympathy" is sharing in and being similarly affected by those thoughts and feelings.
My conclusion is that I had previously been too sympathetic with my clients, causing me to become emotionally drained. One cannot survive long if one is constantly feeling the same things as so many troubled and down-trodden people are feeling. This exceeds my capacity and overloads my emotional resources. The answer is to be empathetic, i.e. understanding and being sensitive to my clients without sharing and participating in their feelings. Perhaps some are capable of sharing in their clients emotions. However, I have discovered that I am not. I cannot do my job effectively if I am constantly on this emotional roller-coaster of other people's problems. So, with this new understanding, I hope to be able to continue this noble work to the best of my ability for many years to come.
4 comments:
I think you got this just right. It is alot easier to maintain empathy than sympathy towards clients. Empathy allows us to connect with the clients humanity (something that prosecutors almost never do), without becoming trapped in the spin cycle of helplessness and powerlessness that makes our clients our clients.
Sigh. Yeah.
I can't imagine doing your job without a daily infusion of what-would-Jesus-do grace! No doubt at least some PDs draw on this resource, as the low of society were placed high among Christ's concerns...
Empathy works. Sympathy will eat you up. Having used to work as a PI in ABQ, I understand both sides of the coin.
Empathy is looking at how people got to where they are, understanding, and moving on. It also leads towards a great 'crystal ball effect' of seeing how the right kind of influence early might just... make a whole hell of a lot of difference in a kid's life whose over his or her head.
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