2. Listen to no one at the office except for the one person who blows everything out of proportion so that you think that the entire office is collapsing when, in fact, it is not.
3. When people try to tell you that the entire office is not collapsing, yell at them for wasting your precious time, which should be spent fixing problems that are not there or dealing with cases that you delegated to someone else.
4. When employees do come to you with a real problem, yell at them for complaining too much and avoid fixing the problem until it becomes impossible to avoid.
5. When there is a problem with another employee, speak about it with the one person who can do nothing about it and thereby ensuring that the problem never gets taken care of.
6. Never listen to suggestions about how to solve problems, and instead throw up your hands and resign yourself to the fact that no problem will ever be solved.
7. When you come up with a brilliant new plan to make everything work better, and other people explain to you certain problems with your plan, ignore the nay-sayers and go ahead with your plan anyway. This way when your plan fails, you will be able to blame it on people not being behind your plan.
8. Above all, never try to solve problems yourself. This both ensures that there will always be a problem to complain about, and that there are plenty of other people to blame for not solving the problem.
2 comments:
You have no idea how much I relate to this post. I am so sorry.
Me too! I've gotten to the point of just trying to do my work and not to get involved at all. Unfortunately, it appears impossible not to get involved, since (for reasons completely unknown to me) I seem to be some type of conduit when other people are unable to communicate with eachother. AARRGGH!
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